Okay People

I'm just sad tonight, and tired. Various reasons, but I ended up driving aimlessly for about an hour (sorry gas, sorry bank account). Driving keeps me from thinking. I put on music and just stare at the road. All I have to do is focus on keeping the car in the lane and I can stop my brain from working on other issues. I wish I didn't have anything to do tomorrow, I was sorely tempted to drive until I could drive no more and just stay in a hotel somewhere. In a way, it wouldn't have felt so bad if I could have just called someone up and said, "Can I come over for a while?" But I feel like I don't have anyone like that here anymore. I have friends here, don't get me wrong, but different kinds of friends. You know how you have friends for different occasions? Friends you go to dinner with, friends you're silly with, friends you see certain movies with, drink with, go to church with, are angry with. Or maybe you don't. Maybe I'm just weird, but there are only certain people I want to see in certain situations. The most rare to me are the people I can be sad with. I don't necessarily mean to weep to and spill my guts, though that's part of it. I mean people I can just sit with and it's okay if I don't want to talk and it's okay if I do; people who make me feel okay, people I can not think around, who can be the human equivilant of driving; people who can make me smile; people who don't try to make every minute together be about SOMETHING, be full of activity--they don't mind if I come over just so I can not be at home, they'll keep doing their own thing while giving me someplace to be. I LOVE home, I love being home, I always have. But it's also the place where you hide in your room in the dark, sleep too long, eat too much and wallow in sadness. Sometimes going home just feels like giving up. Tonight was one of those nights. But here I am. Where are my Okay People? I have them, they exist, but they're not here anymore. I hate talking on the phone, it would only make me feel worse. I could write to them, but it would only be a minor relief. I need to be with them physically. I wish I had them back.

IIIIIII Am the Chaaaaaampion....OF THE WOOOORLD!

I have just completed what is perhaps my greatest contribution to the art world yet. What started out as a simple "bon voyage" card to a friend who is headed off to China became a comic strip wherein Mike Mignola's Amazing Screw-On Head fights the zombie of Chairman Mao. I am an artistic and comic genius. Rarely do I impress myself, normally I loath everything I create, but today I set my self-deprecation aside to say "I frickin ROCK."

And if you haven't seen "The Amazing Screw-On Head" you need to go find a copy of the DVD as well as of the comic book. They are profoundly absurd and profoundly life-changing. It's my new test of friendship. If you don't like it, I may just have to sever ties...

WTF, Blog site?

Um, I feel like when you format something it should remain the same when you post it. Not add 50,000 extra spaces.

Do You Want Me To Go Mom Them?

I have returned from choir tour. I have survived choir tour. Well, technically I returned from choir tour on Friday but I'm fighting mental jet lag. I'm done being physically tired (and very close to being sick...NOOOOOO!) but my brain still doesn't know how to think (to those of you who wittily added, "Does it ever?" I say, "Shut up.")

So last year tour was, probably, the worst 10 consecutive days of my life. I was scared out of my mind having it be my first tour planned top to bottom, not knowing what to do while on it, problem solving, every time I ran into a problem I felt horrible (since I hate myself, y'know), I was stressed and freaked out and didn't get much comfort from the fact that I was being ignored by my then boyfriend, it was an all around thrill ride.

This year the tour company did most of the planning, I just went along for the ride and to do random stuff that came up. We were in California for two days. It was fine, nothing special. And then it was time to fly to Guatemala. Guatemala City was....I don't know. It was fine as cities go, there were stores and restaurants and people and hotels and such, but it was so dirty. So much dirt and exhaust in the air, Jessie was basically allergic to the town. We went to the city of Antigua and I loved it:

There was practiacally a church on every block and they were wonderful. Then on to Costa Rica. We were in San Jose, Monteverde, Arenal, heck I can't even remember. I went horseback riding, swam in a waterfall (well, the little pond under the waterfall), went hiking, ziplining, so many things...

I SWAM HERE!

GIANT PLANTS!

The hotels in Monteverde and Arenal were awesome, we went swimming in a pool that had a swim up bar with underwater stools, we did a synchronized swimming routine (that's right!), I went to Mass and got kissed on the cheek by an old man, and I actually remembered to do sketches while I was there (good art major, good girl!). I petted fuzzy catapillars, saw Quetzals and tiny toucans, chased moths out of my room and saw monkeys on the side of the road.

I'd give tour a thumbs up.

That picture was on a wall in Costa Rica. It has nothing to do with anything except hilarity.